When it comes to dreams, aspirations; when it comes to completing the more creative tasks I’ve set for myself in my life, I would be lying if I told you I had a great track record.

I started piano lessons when I was 13, but after two years I let it slip through my fingers. When the guitar whispered of future glories, I answered. And although I still play, I do regret not having seen my then guitar teacher for more than but a handle of lessons. I finished school,and eagerly flung myself into theological studies, only to find myself at this present time further away from those things I once believed then I ever dreamt I might be. Photography, started not finished. Numerous bands, started not finished. I have more ‘bits’ of songs then I know what to do with, and enough half-finished lyrics to write a book. Which incidentally is yet another endeavour, begun with great gusto and honourable intent, yet now fading in the half-light of dusk.

And deep inside of me, there is a yearning to ignore the screams of past failures, tramp excuses into the ground, lower my head into the wind and finish something which, in time, will be an indication of what I am, what I’m made of. My faults and my glories.

And I know that my lament is purely what it is to be human, and is a burden shared by more people then I can ever imagine. I know too that I do have successes. I only need look at my wife’s face, or wonder at the natures of those I can call friends to see that. Yet I still choose to listen to the inhuman voices muttering in the back of my mind. Will I ever finish anything worthwhile?

This afternoon, as I saw a seven-week old heartbeat, everything else faded. And I realised that I may yet finish a novel, or perform a song, or achieve something I have not yet conceived of. But whether I do or do not is no longer a burden, or a taunt. It is no longer some ill conceived measure of who I am. The mutterings have been silenced by something smaller then my thumb.

I am to be a father.

~ by tenmiles on January 19, 2006.

14 Responses to “113768114120571744”

  1. 🙂

  2. Congrats! Now that’s a well conceived measure of who you are.

  3. Congratulations!! Very exciting news. Perhaps you’ll achieve some of those things together with your child.

  4. If it wasn’t so immature and LJ-ish I’d leave a big old squee 🙂

  5. FM, your child is blessed to have you, with your sensitive spirit. I am really happy for you! Congratulations!

    Besides, now you can force your kid to do all the things you wish you’d done. That’s how it works. (JUST kidding. That decidedly does NOT work. =o)

  6. Well done, sir, congratulations.

    (Is there anything else in life that you get congratulated for that is quite so much fun to do?)

  7. Unfinished things build a life. And now you have found a way to close that circle. My most sincere happiness and congrats to you, the Mrs., and mini-FM. You deserve all the happiness life can bring.

  8. Thanks, all of you. The joy of sharing this news with all of you is almost as great as receiving it.

    Mrs TenMiles is doing well, just mainly suffering from tiredness and nausea. Next big thing will be the 13 week scan.

    We are both ecstatic.

    Prepare yourselves for a slight change in post topics!!!!

  9. Congratulations! Now visit namenerds.com for a complete list of What Not to Name your Child.

  10. Wow. Congrats, man.

  11. Congrats! Woo hoo!!! I’m so happy for you both and look forward to reading the future tales of parenthood. Welcome to the club!

  12. Congrats indeed, my friend. 🙂 Wow, a new life for a new year!

    (Sorry, I’d have posted earlier except my work PC hates, hates, hates pop-ups!)

  13. congrats & good luck with that…it’s not something that’s supposed to ever really “finish”.
    ‘cept when you’re dead. & not even then, really.

    so well done!

  14. Awesome! Congrats!

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