sticks head out of the miasmal mists of work and fatherhood…….

So this is 30. Doesn’t seem to be much going on.

begins to slip back into the swirling ether….

No…..wait. I thought I saw………oh, just those damn squirrels again.

slowly disappears……..

Icarus Falls

It’s about bloody time I finished what I started wouldn’t you agree?

Except that, well, I can’t find a trace of Part Seven anywhere. I’m sure I wrote it, I’m almost positive it wasn’t a hallucination, but then where is it? Searched old blog and new, googled, but nary a trace. So, please, if anyone happens to have a copy of it cached somewhere, please be a darling and let me know?

That way, Part Eight can actually be brought forth into existence next week.

In the interim, for those who have no idea what I’m talking about:

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six

Left behind

her voice

fresh tendrils and

honey rhododendron

take root

bloom in lungs and

breathless

thoughts are

sugar splinters

It’s like squeezing blood from stone these days. I miss Jenn. I miss reading something that would blend my envy and inspiration into a peppermint sundae. What happened? We wrote, we challenged, we collaborated. But some of us left, and some of us forgot, and some of us got busy (not Carl, who remains steadfast). Are we hanging on when we should be letting go? Or when things shifted, was I not looking?

words are not

but live instead

in form in flight

in heart in depth

their sound has warped

waxed and waned

what echoes

what lingers

is sullen

is stained

The Cowards Paradox

The moment happens. And it happens faster than your brain can give you a reason to react. You stand there, immobile, whilst consequence and repercussion do a merry jig. When you realise you did nothing, the justification process kicks in. Who says we lack the survival instinct?

And so you run through the gamut of reasons it was probably wiser to do nothing. It’s none of you affair, if you did intervene you would only make things worse etc etc ad infinitum. And if you look at it from an objective point of view, you probably did the right thing. Unreasonable people don’t usually perform a sudden 180 when taken to task, and they’d probably only have made life more difficult for the victim.

We’re not talking witnessing a rape or a murder here, but those daily instances where pseudo-entitlement allows certain people to believe they have unspoken authority over the lives of those they deem as subservient.

And if you haven’t guessed, you is me.

And sometimes I just wish that the moment was all that mattered, so when it looks like a dick and quacks like a dick, you can call it exactly that. With the moment in question, I know that if I’d done just that, he would have taken it out on someone else because he has no authority over me, but is that really a good enough reason for inaction?

I don’t know. What do you think? It’s easy to denounce injustice and to believe that you will stand up for what’s right every time, but when it actually plays out in front of you……..well, nothing is ever black and white.

So how do we stop it then? How do we stop this ridiculous notion that one person can have jurisdiction over another simply because they believe they have a higher status or because they earn more money?

I see a man who lives, alone, in a huge four-bedroom house. High ceilings and fantastic views and rim-flow pool. He’s yelling at the maid, who probably lives with her family in a shack the size of his en-suite bathroom, to polish the tiles around the swimming pool properly. And don’t tell me the wheel turns or that judgement awaits in the afterlife. The wheel has already turned, and given him an 18yr-old son who cannot look after himself and a 3yr-old son who he seems incapable of being a proper father to, but he hasn’t seemed to notice. And even if he did, he’d have his car and his house and his room full of cds to console him.

I just don’t know anymore.

Boudacious Tuneage Day #4

Two years ago I did something completely out of character. Am I ashamed? Maybe just a little. Will it happen again? Perhaps. Am I proud of what I did?

Absolutely. And though the dark forces of the impulse purchase claimed another soul that day, it was worth it. There was no cutting-edge album cover, only a collection of intriguing song titles. The Art of Belief, Post-Tour Pre-Judgement, Zionist Timing. I think it was somewhere during the 3rd spin of Aereogramme’s A Story in White that I suddenly realised just how much I liked the album. Craig B doesn’t possess a spectacular voice by any stretch of the imagination, but I’m hard pressed to think of anyone who can match the emotion behind it, nor anyone that can switch from such tenderness to such raw anger so quickly. It’s almost like watching slow-motion footage of a group of kids playing outside. The sky is postcard-blue and the lens-flare is always in the perfect spot. Then one of the kids slips, and it’s all grazed knees and limping home as the sky begins to cloud over.

Anyway, it’s a lousy analogy and I’m going off topic. My Heart Has A Wish That You Would Not Go was released earlier this year, and if you can hold the attention of your local music store clerk long enough to complete the title, it’s definitely the band’s most accessible album and worth picking up. And since I would never want any of you losing your souls to the same dark force that I did, you can stream a few tracks from here, and you can watch the sublime video for Barriers here. The image at around the 3:48 mark will be the inspiration for another tale on this blog in the future.

Everything written about God is an Astronaut seems to agree on one thing; the music this Irish trio creates is as hard to classify as it is to describe, how impossible it would be to try and tell someone what they sound like . Everything that is, until now. See, I reckon if you think about what a band with a name like ‘God is an Astronaut’ would sound like, you’d be right. And if you don’t believe me, test my theory for yourself. Their website has quite a few mp3s to download here. And then blame Fence for not sharing them with us sooner, although she seems to have taken her usual Swiss stance on the matter……

Last up this week, the eagerly anticipated debut album from Fields. There, I used the phrase ‘eagerly anticipated’. I am now a member of the music blogging elite. Their ep 7 From the Village was truly a tasty bite of musical freshness, and deserved to have far more tongues wagging then the hype that preceded Wincing the Night Away. Hey, I like The Shins as much as the next indie hipster, but the Coming of the Saviour will not be foreshadowed with lines like “They are the fabled lambs, A Sunday ham, The ancient snow.”  Everything Last Winter is released April 2nd, and will no doubt sell far less than it should. Stream tracks from their site here, and watch the fantastic video for the single Song for the Fields here.

Oh, and if anyone’s actually paying attention to any of these things, it would be kinda nice to know it. Don’t be shy.

Fingers intact….

Sometimes you just have to gape in awe at the gossamer threads of irony that seem to be the building blocks of this world. DNA? Oh please. Irony will kick that little double helix’ arse all around the playground.

What is TenMiles on about this time? Not sure if even he knows, but I reckon he’s just too tired to care. Let’s just say that, though we might not admit it, we’re intoxicated by black & white photography because it turns reality into a stark, eloquent and beautiful lie.

In other news, the move went very well, and even the pictures have found their new homes on various walls. I tried to be as helpful in as many areas as I could, but the truth is the rapidity with which boxes were unpacked and bathroom mirrors hung has more to do with Mrs TenMiles and my father. I can lift boxes with the best of them, and I can pass a crescent wrench with the grace and fluidity of a ballet dancer, but I have accepted my role as gofer in these situations, and am wise enough to stay out of the way of the professionals. The only aspect of DIY I have ever been proficient in is usually showcased at the very end of a project, when someone yells “Is this thing level?”. I am unerringly accurate, and if I had an alter ego, he would no doubt be…….Spiritlevel Man!!!!!

Why this aversion to spanners and hammers? Not sure, though I did see Kyknoord’s really long drill-bit once, and that was pretty intimidating…….

We were given much advice and fair warning about the difficulties Cadence may have in adjusting to her new room, but the truth is that we seem to be finding it a lot more difficult than she does. If we are woken in the wee hours of the morning, it’s not by inconsolable crying, but by the sound of chatter and giggling, and upon further investigation, a look that says “What are you two doing here? Do you think I’m six months old or something?”

Oh, and our neighbour drops by to welcome us, and it turns out that I was in high school with him. Isn’t it ironic.

“Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.”

To the small group of those who follow Boudacious Tuneage Day, I apologise in advance for its absence tomorrow.

But I have a good reason, I promise. Yes folks, the TenMiles family is relocating. No, not to Livejournal or back to Blogger, I mean ‘in the real world’. Remember? Sunshine, greenery, the breeze gently carrying the smell of the harbour across the city? Well, perhaps that specific odour is a good reason to hang around in cyberspace a little longer, but you get my drift. And Cadence gets a room of her own, and I get a little loft room to re-imagine as an aspiring author’s den of creativity. And Mrs TenMiles gets to send yours truly scurrying to and fro…..who knew there was a seasoned Drill Sergeant lurking beneath that placid exterior.

“That’s not how you pack a box! Drop and give me 20!!!”

“No, no, no! Just move out of the way and let me show you!”

“You think you can survive in the jungles of Cambodia without using your teeth to tear packing tape!?!?!”

Okay, that last one may have been slightly exaggerated.

“We need to clean the walls, wash the counters, clean the carpets….”

But honey, says I, they’re going to completely redo the apartment after we leave. Tear up the carpets, refurbish the kitchen…

“I don’t care! I will NOT leave this apartment in a shoddy state upon our departure!!!!! I don’t work that way!”

And so it becomes clear to me that perhaps I should beat a hasty retreat on this particular occasion, and live to lose another day. And to be thankful that I am not in the removals industry.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go peel potatoes.

Boudacious Tuneage Day #3

This week, something old and something new, something borrowed and something blue.

Let’s start with the borrowed first, and by that I mean a band discovered via my new favourite mp3 blogger, Built on a Weak Spot. The band is Riddle of Steel, and the second I heard the intro of the first song on their myspace page, I knew it was curtains for me. Or perhaps more accurately, curtains set ablaze when Vincent knocked over the candles after tripping on the coffee-table in a frenzy of airguitar and clumsy feet he just couldn’t keep still as the sounds of This Is A House Of Lies blares from the stereo. It wasn’t his fault, YOU try keeping still.

(Built on a Weak Spot has a few mp3s and a better description here. Baby Bird is what QOTSA wished they could have done with Little Sister)

Something old. After that ‘minor’ incident with the fire, I think it safer to slow things down a bit. Rosie Thomas released her last album in 2005, but I’ve been a fan since her debut release When We Were Small from 2001. Yes, I know that’s not really old, but I’m trying to keep to a theme here, so cut me some slack. You can stream tracks from her website and myspace pages, but I Play Music is definitely a keeper.

Something new, will probably be the least accessible of today’s list, but I am compelled to include them by forces beyond my control. I almost made the mistake of thinking Moving Mountains was an emo band. Yes, I am capable of such human frailties. But I was wrong, and I can admit that. When you’re in a band and you’re 16, you tell people that all you want to do is make epic music. Well, Moving Mountains are the guys who actually got it right. You can stream tracks from their new album here.

Finally, something blue. And by blue, I mean the ocean, as this last band are sponsored by the element Water. Water, Just drown in it.

Midsummer are the ocean, and their epic song Moon Shadow from the album This Ageless Night is exactly the song I intend for you to drown in. Find it on their website. And I’ll leave you with a sample of their lyrical brilliance.

From Moon Shadow, Part IV:

In velvet skies adorned with drapes of light
moving slumber slow
whispers sung of hope afar descend to allay
the restless tides of my fallow heart
born away in time, awash in the glow
I’m lulled to repose through echoes of the winters din
with veils disposed and light left passage in.
My breath still labors in this frail faulted covering,
its burden lingers on.
With the memory that remains,
my eyes are raised to the ever-present sun.

Saccharine warning…..

Two parental-type updates, because…well….I know deep down that’s the only reason you guys visit. And I can’t fault you, she is much better looking than I am. Funnier, too.

So, thank you my beautiful daughter, for seeing fit to spend six months on this earth in my company. I hope it takes many more years before you realise that your father is a lot less cooler than you think he is. You are my joy.

Cadence masters the Jedi Mind Trick……

The second update is this: As some of you know, I write the occasional article for a local parenting website. This month’s is up here, and looks rather similar to this:

Millstone or Milestone

Effort and reward. From as early as playschool to more than likely yesterday at work, our lives have been based upon the principle of ‘what you put in, you get out’. Study hard at school and you’ll get in to university. Do well at varsity, and you’ll get a great job. Work hard at your job, and you’ll climb the corporate ladder.

So when we’re suddenly put in charge of a tiny life, and we lose ourselves in a maelstrom of nappies and bottles and breastmilk, it’s not unreasonable to expect that we see some sort of appropriate response or reaction.

And this is especially so for fathers. After all, a mother has been bonding with her child for nine months prior to their eventual arrival; for her, simply watching her child breathe is a reward to end all rewards. But fathers, let’s be honest; as much as I do not doubt for a second your love for that life sleeping on your chest, we’re wired for interaction. We’re wired for those moments of rough and tumble with our sons, or to see our daughter’s eyes light up as we finally perfect the voice for the big bad wolf.

And that’s why, almost as soon as they are born, we’re sneaking a glance at that developmental milestones chart every chance we get. The seven-week smile, grabbing, rolling, crawling. When does it happen and how close are we?

And our inherent competitive natures ensure that we’re more than just a little gleeful when we find out that our little Samantha is mastering consonants whilst the only sounds emanating from little Kenny down the street are those indicating yet another nappy change.

And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Even Cadence has a bib proclaiming ‘My daddy is stronger than your daddy’.

But fathers, be careful. Because when once there was nowhere in the world safer and more comfortable then your chest, suddenly the only thing interesting about your chest are the hairs that can be plucked out by the handful.

Those milestones will arrive. And whether it’s a few weeks earlier or later than everyone else, is not what’s important.

Enjoy your child now. Enjoy what they are doing now. If you spend too much time worrying about why they haven’t progressed further along, you’ll miss what your partner has known for quite some time. As much as you’ll enjoy the talking laughing running playing, it truly is the breathing that is most remarkable of all.

Boudacious Tuneage Day

Not sure what I’m on about? It all starts here.

Last week’s tracks were all on the lighter, more celestial side of things, so this week a slight change. And yes, you all guessed it because I am that predictable, the sponsor this week is the element Earth.  Earth, Just dig it.

First up, and please try to control yourselves from the shock of seeing me list a band most of you have actually heard of, is Nine Inch Nails. With Teeth, I thought, was a brilliant album, and one that did not achieve the acclaim it deserved. Much of what Trent does is either misunderstood or dismissed as irrelevant angst, which I suppose comes with the territory. But I think those who do so, are missing out on a layer within Trent’s music that can only be uncovered if given the necessary attention. When you drop the anger, or the politics, or even the abrasive sounds, you’re often left with a fragile beauty. Like a broken heart. And if I need to explain to you why a broken heart is a thing of beauty, then you probably shouldn’t be hanging around here.

However, the lead single off NIN’s forthcoming album Year Zero, is devoid of even the tiniest fragment of beauty. My Violent Heart is raw, pissed off and seems to have been scraped off the floor of the basement in Fight Club. I like it, and if you give it a listen, maybe you will too.

Where do you go if you’ve made more of a noise, and discovered ways of making even more noise, than (arguably) anyone else. If you’re Justin Broadrick (Napalm Death, Godflesh), I’m sure your guess would have been…well….make more noise. But since Justin has always done pretty much whatever the hell he wants to, he’s decided to compose a soundtrack for the movement of glaciers. Or the slow flow of lava days after an eruption. Or the weathering away of a pinnacle of stone, keeping its head above water despite the constant barrage of wave and ocean. Well, maybe he had something else in mind, but that’s pretty much what he’s come up with for his incarnation as Jesu, and the album Conqueror. It may sound repetitive at first listen, but that’s probably because you’re playing it at the wrong level. This must be played LOUD. And without distraction. I’d be curious to know where it takes you. Stream the entire album, here.

I’ve never tried to hide the fact that, beneath this Herculian physique and legendary good looks, lurks the soul of a geek. But what does that have to do with music, I hear you ask. Well, is there a more geeky musical style than that of prog rock? No? I didn’t think so. Rush, Yes, early Genesis. Sci-fi, concept albums, drawn out passages of self-indulgent noodling. Some very very good. Some very very bad. Did I say bad? I mean Ghost Rider bad. And the bad out number the good at about the same ratio as Beatrix to Crazy 88. But amongst the good, there is Porcupine Tree. Their last album Deadwing was a little gem. Perhaps slightly more accessible than some of their other catalogue, it was still a showcase for the highly skilled musicianship and brilliant songcraft of frontman Steven Wilson. Fear of a Blank Planet will only be out a few months from now, but you can download an album sampler from their website. With almost no track on the album suitable for radio play, I doubt there will be any changes to their renown or droves of hipsters ordering the album months in advance. And you know what? That’s just fine with me.

Any musical favourites or finds that you’d like to share? Email me at forgottenmachine@yahoo.com

Have a great weekend.